11eleven11

I clearly remember one morning on Facebook, before I was engaged, when I was perusing the wedding photographs of an old friend from High School, and she had 7 bridesmaids. And I almost fell off the bed. Because HOLY SHIT, seven is a lot of women to have pecking at you on a day when you have to wear that much underwear. And that doesn’t even factor in your mother.

I may have said something to James, to the tune of, “If I ever want more than two bridesmaids, shoot me.”

Thank God he doesn’t listen to my jabbering 98% of the time before 9AM. Because, Ladies and Gentlefolk, I have six bridesmaids, and he has six groomsmen, and our wedding party is officially 14 people strong, and he has yet to shoot me.

Yet.

When we were going over who was going to be in the party, for me it came down to answering a couple key questions correctly:

1. Has this friend already seen me at my best, my worst, my happiest, my ugliest and my most belligerent? I do not need to scathe my longstanding friendships through this wedding process. I realized as soon as I realized that I am not totally freaking in love with the idea of the big-ish wedding we’re apparently going to have, that I am going to need to surround myself with women who have already seen me lose my shit, and who can handle one of my breakdowns as if I were simply disappointed that the shoe store doesn’t have the style I want in the size I need. This is to say, as soon as I start reeling out of control, their response is, “Knock it off. We’ll find it for you somewhere else. Idiot.”

The Women of the Party are also  the women who I’ve shared my happiest moments through the last Quarter-Century of my life. They stay. They are the stay-ers. They know and see and accept every part of who I am– even the part that thinks Miley Cyrus songs are catchy. Correct Answer: Yes.

2. Do I know for a fact this woman can hold her liquor, her temper and her ground? The wedding will be open bar. Some of my family does not get along with other parts of my family. From what I understand, some of James’ family isn’t too keen on other parts of James’ family, either. Some of our family members are a bit more conservative than others, while still others are on the cusp of being semi-functioning alcoholics. His family is Sicilian. My family is Irish. … I need to be around women who not only know when to stop imbibing themselves, but also when to wrestle the champagne away from me and how to do it quietly without inciting a riot. Correct Answer: Yes.

3. Does she have a secret MacGuiver Ninja skill that will likely come in handy? One of the girls is very take-charge, but she’s very sweet about it. I know that if there’s a vendor issue on the day of the wedding, I can just wimper in her direction and she’ll march right up to the person responsible and politely explain how they have five minutes to fix it or else. Another of the girls just graduated as a PA and boasts a quick and clean suture. She will likely also know how to revive me if I pass out, and how to cure acne (I have to just assume). This same bridesmaid also happens to be one of those people who genuinely, genuinely wants everyone to be happy and play nice– perfect for keeping family members from eating each other alive, or worse, eating myself or the groom. One Bridesmaid just got married, so she understands the particular sound your forehead makes when it slams into the table after a long day of nodding politely at everyone’s opinions. One Bridesmaid can make me laugh even after I’ve been awake for 36 hours, even after I’ve had my heart broken, even after I’ve given up hope. One Bridesmaid is the girl who will, without fail, have the nail file, the clear top coat, the extra pantyhose, three shades of lipstick, safety pins, bobby pins, duct tape and an airbrush kit all stashed in her bra, just in case. And my Matron of Honor will have her kids with her.

Why is that important? Because if my mother gets to be too much, there is no better bait-and-switch material on the face of the planet than two adorable, chubby-cheeked babies.

If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a Full Court Press to marry off a woman like me. At the end of the day, I need every single one of these women by my side– not so that I can marry James, but because without these six friendships… without all our collective stories, and memories, and our struggles and our growth and our triumphs and failures and tears and laughter and without all those shoes… I wouldn’t be the woman he loves so much. Each of the girls has contributed to Who I Am. They are a sampling of the stages of my life, and they are the enduring and most beautiful parts of what I’ve kept in myself. Correct Answer: Yes.

4. Will we be friends in fifty years? Each of them, over and over, has proved to be a lifer as far as our friendship is concerned. I’m blessed to have a lot of really strong women in my life, and I’ll be doubling the number of sisters I can boast in marrying James and acquiring Jennifer. But these women… what sets them apart is that, over and over and over and over, we choose each other. We trust one another with our secrets and our dreams and our happiness. We show each other the respect that comes with gentle honesty, and the love that develops and strengthens with time. These aren’t my Friends Now. These women are my Friends Forever. Correct Answer: Yes.

Also, they’re really, really pretty.

Kristin. {Matron of Honor.} {Best friend for the past decade. Mother of my God Child. Brave pioneer in the land of Marriage and Children.}

Kristin with the adorable Jonas {who will be the Ring Bearer}.

Kristin, Ryan, Jonas {when he was still a tadpole}.

Kristin and Jonas as Twinsies. {We forgive them for the DC garb. }

Maxine. {Maid of Honor.} {Kappa Delta Sorority Sister.} {Internationally Globe Trotting Badass.}

Maxine in her Aviators, which she refuses to pay more than $5 for. Ever.

Conco de Mayo 2008, the day I actually met James the first time. This is several hours before James showed up, and as you can see we had aleady sampled the tequila. Like, all of it.

Christine. {Bridesmaid.} {Fearless leader.} {Facebook wife.}

Christine {right} with her sister Caitlin {left}.

She does outdoorsy things. Like, she fearlessly touches rocks, for example.

Maxine, Myself and Christine... a million years ago... at a Kappa Delta something-something. I think.

Rosa. {Sorority Sister.} {Future lawyer.} {Best story-teller I know.}

Rosa, with her perfect hair, which yes, always looks this great.

... See? About the hair? I'm not kidding.

Rosa and I at Jackie Berg's birthday party, a hundred years ago.

Renee. {Friend from High School.} {Just earned her PA certification and scored in the 94% percentile on her final licensing examination.} {Total goofball.}

Renee, laughing. You can't not see photos of her laughing, because that's almost always what she's doing. That is, if she's not sticking her tongue out at the camera.

This is, hands down, the one photo that mosts captures Renee. Spinning, laughing, being adorable.

Renee, Christina, Maria and I-- again, a hundred years ago. Proof that we've been friends for what seems like a lifetime, but in a way that hasn't aged at all.

Michelle. {Newest Old-Friend.} {Newly wed.} {Complete and total Sweetheart.}

Michelle, in her wedding dress, making what I love to refer to as Michelle-face. Tell me that smile isn't contagious. {You can't tell me that. It undeniably is.}

... She married Nate, an editor at Marvel. Michelle looked absolutely stunning. Nate was very pretty that day, too.

And the best-looking member of their family, Daffodil {also known as Princess Daffums} accompanied the flower girl down the aisle and took time from her busy napping schedule to pose for photographs.

There you have it, folks. My Bridal Party of Awesomeness.

Yes, it’s a lot, but you have to agree with me– if you had people this good, you’d want them all standing up with you when you make the biggest pinkie-promise of your life.

xo

-MM.